Lament
by AquilaChrysaetos
Summary: Stream of consciousness-y thoughts from Anders in those five minutes where his life hangs in the balance. Written for the BSN 'Manifestos Welcome' prompt group, the prompt was 'song fic'.


Song Fic prompt from the BSN. Song was 'Arwen's Song' from The Lord of the Rings Soundtrack.

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><p><span>Lament<span>

The sounds of battle fade into the distance, a deathly hush descending on the market square, now littered with the bodies of templars. The harsh red glow piercing the night sky, a mark of the destruction he has wrought, has transmuted into twisting ribbons of light. Time to decide his fate, if deciding were an option. He is already certain of the consequences of his actions. He will defer to the woman standing tall behind him, just the Champion now, no longer his partner. He has given up that right. And he will submit to her judgement.

_With a sigh you turn away_

She cannot bear to look at him. But he owes her the explanation, the reasons for the obliteration of the life she has built here. He hears her shuddering breath, a sound only he could discern, the only sign of her distress. And he, in turn, cannot bear to see.

_With a deepening heart_

He warned her, so many times he warned her. But that does not make his betrayal any less. He dared not trust her, not for fear of her disapproval, but that he might find as much in her the monster he has become. He could not let that be, this the only way to keep her soul untainted. But the sting of it, the deepest parts of her laid bare to him, and yet he could not return the gift. Until now. He can almost feel her heart break.

_No more words to say_

Mouth moving automatically; there is nothing she can say to him he hasn't already said to himself. She understands, and is silent. She knows. There must be a sacrifice, a martyr. And she must be the example. The righteous hand of justice. She will do what must be done. She kneels before him in wordless acknowledgement and mournful farewell.

_You will find that the world has changed forever._

Change which she must witness alone. He is the spark, fleeting but necessary, and she the flame, burning bright and warm. Nothing will be the same in the wake of this. And he knows she will oversee it with the same fervour as ever she did. Bearing the torch he has now passed to her with pride and determination. She will ensure this act was not in vain.

_And the trees are now turning from green to gold_

A transition filled with melancholy regret. Yet he never could have imagined that in these final years he would find something so wonderful. It was only in the autumn of his life that he truly understood the beauty of the world. Shining moments, full of warm colour and soft light.

_And the sun is now fading_

His life stretches before him, every laugh and every tear, every mistake, every triumph. All shall pass away and turn to ashes, the darkness will descend. Now it is at an end. He has always wanted freedom. There is no truer freedom than this.

_I wish I could hold you closer._

She will never know all the ways she touched his soul. And now he must push her away. Every fibre of his being screams for one last chance to touch, caress, kiss, love. But he cannot deserve her now. He takes some comfort in the knowledge that even when he is gone there will still be some part of him left to watch over her, his memories entwined with those of a spirit of the fade, his love for her stretching on into all eternity.

His heart beats loud in his ears, body thrumming with life, in contrast to the inevitable and imminent end. Shining tracks wind their way down his face, and downcast eyes squeeze shut. Gasping, shallow breaths come quick as he awaits the cold press of steel to his heart. He is ready.

The gentle hand at his face is unexpected. A sharp intake of breath and a flinch halted by his craving for the comfort of her. She will do as he did for Karl then. But no. Slender fingers raise his chin upwards, and he cannot help but to open his eyes. The sight meeting them is that of a wounded animal, lost and afraid. If this is his punishment then it is justly deserved. He cannot hold her gaze.

Soft thumbs brush away his tears, and practiced hands tuck away loose strands of hair. Then she stands, and surprises him still after all these years. Her hand is extended, open. An invitation. A chance at redemption.

A wave of relief then. His heart swells as he looks upon her face again, hope and love in equal measure. Resolve is both shattered and strengthened in an instant. A shaking hand finds hers, and he allows himself to be pulled up to stand beside her. She will be an example; of love, compassion, mercy. And together they will change the world.


End file.
